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8 j6 r: }6 u7 t+ Z楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">时间:& o. q, d* b& Omso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">20141 }6 ~# ^* x: Ymso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">年8月12日
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">地点:7 P9 ]8 |9 {! v5 h3 w; o, {. L; nmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">老秘网“文稿修改演播室”(QQ群号:366351120)
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">主讲:% [: h+ ^0 K0 D7 R2 L- E
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$ k$ ~) Q2 W. Q8 |0 ~楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">整理:3 G% N5 Y G. [1 f& ]mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">杨苏
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3 ?8 x) b5 _# g% o7 G楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">具体内容:
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$ b! H `- U! Bmso-font-kerning:0pt">一、对一篇汇报材料的讨论
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line-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly"> C" ?6 r) ^) j% l9 c3 w; O. ?' n2 `font-family:黑体;mso-hansi-font-family:黑体;mso-bidi-font-family:黑体">老猫:某市美丽乡村创建工作情况汇报,大家帮某同学推敲一组标题,如何?
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line-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">& n) s( h! W ^7 j4 M3 f/ h2 o; h"Times New Roman"">(四)突出民生保障,打造宜居乡村。
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$ p! {1 Q3 r f: ?( Y/ B8 Bmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">魅力乡村,幸福乡村、宜居乡村、富裕乡村之类的,我的意思是用一根线串起来,让这组小标题形成一个整体。1 u$ r3 y% z- zmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">标题分两部分,前半部分亮手段(做法),后半部分凸显成效。四个乡村的思路不错,但内容上缺少支撑,建议再从内容上面抓取下逻辑。另外,感觉题目不足以体现内容。5 C0 l: o1 K' r T4 P0 _! t* O
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">胡晓斌:7 s2 D9 p7 E5 n; A/ a$ |( F
mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">嗯,内容来讲有并列的,也有逻辑递进关系,不知如何把握。 }' ]- D4 y3 Z) J6 o% i# Cmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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5 ~, |5 f+ G( p0 T楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">猫老:5 ]; Z' R) [. l0 Z2 D4 ?mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">富增收入,美展新颜。0 U- L- a0 d: X3 L$ X' x0 c9 v
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">民生保障作为出发点,惠农增收作为增长点呢/ |7 Q+ O' w" d4 Tmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">,0 c0 S Z% q! a2 a2 X+ n
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">感觉民生保障包括很多方面,不只是宜居。宜居一般是和生态环境放在一起的,民生保障一般和和谐、幸福搭配在一起。: ]# f% {3 s+ Jmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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1 ? G7 k* @+ ?楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">北纬30度:- v, }' }5 `3 ~8 u: t
mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">顺序调整一下,环境放最后。不知道第一点内容。- s z# p- g* ~2 ^/ `# o
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宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">一、三任书记接力干,一张蓝图抓创建# f/ a% Y, ?8 A0 z
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宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、一以贯之谋创建。# r' }: h* T9 d( N( v( _
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宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、规划引领明方向。8 g- _4 _/ m6 {' z. u2 @, U仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、健全机制促落实。* Z& _1 P) J5 N( p; w1 N- {- @: n" z
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宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">二、十年时间抓整治,美丽乡村显成效+ M0 o' T, y5 D. N" l# s
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">“ y. R E& y7 h$ q4 x+ dmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">重头戏3 d" L3 n& C: i2 {- z$ K# Ffont-family:宋体;mso-fareast-font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;4 G; Z! X( u( h
mso-font-kerning:0pt">”/ O# q$ J1 n5 E0 a8 umso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">,乡村发展水平有效提升。; H z% e' ]% z3 C
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宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、依靠主体强动力。9 P+ j0 r# Q; y9 o& g# Y+ J3 o4 z
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line-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">7 @3 D$ [- J& Z, [! e# b仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt"> 2$ w; [+ j8 ~# V3 Z$ g宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、产村联动促增收。& U) m# P5 ~- g: ]! h* V: x
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">产村联动促增收。坚持建设与发展并重,因地制宜做到美丽乡村建设与产业项目发展并举。一是整合特色产业。根据不同的区位优势、产业基础和发展趋势,规划产业布局,整合产业资源,大力发展专业市场,壮大村集体经济。如古山镇大园东村依托发达的废旧钢铁产业,引导周边$ Z$ p- s% Q, C8 m: x+ l' Y8 ymso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">5. D% X' b q# f" M" S, F; }2 K14.0pt;font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-ascii-font-family:宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:
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宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">个摊位的废旧钢铁市场,村集体经济年收入% z/ I% ]* |' v& Y% {mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">1000' h5 i$ Z' @6 M* mmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">多万元。二是发展物业经济。针对区位优势明显的村,通过农村集体建设用地开发和项目建设,盘活土地,投资发展集体物业项目。如城西新区小东陈村,通过与相邻1 Q% m7 _) r7 xmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">4, S9 x- y- A0 m& O4 |& \2 A
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宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">个村联合建立五星社区,集聚人口9 r# D9 `6 C% g0 q0 Y) O
mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">2500/ P( C- }* H2 Tmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">多人,盘活建设用地) {6 c; t1 t o1 D- s3 y* Zmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">29' W0 k+ t: F& K+ C8 R14.0pt;font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-ascii-font-family:宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:% M1 d f* a# o
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">用是可以用,问题不在这里。这个材料感觉像是工作总结,挂了个美丽乡村的头,较牵强。8 ^" M/ ?' D% smso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">那没有,美丽乡村建设也包括这些内容的,而不仅仅是村庄整治。/ z3 [! a. C& t6 rmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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1 a& }$ Z5 o( D6 F! M8 N. ~, c- kline-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">6 |- b1 n7 t4 d" g) G$ }14.0pt;font-family:楷体_GB2312;mso-hansi-font-family:楷体_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:9 W' O; z4 O* J
楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方:1 M8 h7 \# v9 k+ m5 vmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">我不是这个意思,美丽乡村汇报也好,生态乡村汇报也好,这些内容都可以用。一个汇报材料第一是基本情况,第二是对于创建活动本身的相关情况汇报,第三是做法,第四适当点点问题。当然,问题也可以根据实际情况不点。至于你的措施,应该是结合本情况来的。而且此提纲里,做法没有必要分这么多层次,容易造成逻辑上的混乱。你先要明确出这么几个重点。比如,要说转型,你想表达的转型是什么转型,怎么转型,转出什么成效,结合美丽乡村落到优化产业结构上比较好。/ n: g% M) E8 Y
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">不是多,是乱了。我看完的体会是包罗万象,但具体内容看完却记不住多少。8 `0 _4 O( D: K7 n* [
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">层次可以简化,什么都想说,太杂了。( H* e7 u7 F! [9 x2 x1 m5 W7 L
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">不过不是不能说,要理顺一下。举个例子来说,就用猫总凝练的题目(一)坚持把转型强村作为美丽乡村建设的9 T4 W# ]/ |- ~% n/ ^
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% E3 t! C$ W8 f- l宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">重头戏& H$ P5 u4 C5 ?mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">”0 k- }: K/ z: V2 w3 J3 u14.0pt;font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-ascii-font-family:宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:
* |" J+ [2 H3 }宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">,乡村发展水平有效提升。这个标题要写,要明确围绕的中心是转型强村。效果是乡村发展水平。对应转型强村找内容。( P7 V% X2 [1 |$ u. ?mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">胡晓斌:) ?. ^2 b3 \% o" wmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">那我把内容归纳一下,第二部分就点明五六点重点内容。. V& ^7 r# O- n/ E& I; Wmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">内容不在于多少,要说出亮点与特色。大家都在创建,为什么选你。因为你创建的有成效,亮点多,做法新。. Q7 `# N+ j, z9 v- V; Jmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">飘雪:$ S# ], H2 g% F( qmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">这也有点像二元标题。' w; s P% w7 ]5 b& h! M. Cmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">号同学你这是典型的观点加事迹的写法,要把材料融会贯通,并从中提炼观点。3 B, u5 {) ?* {; F0 V- A' Umso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">我发表一下个人的想法,有以下几个方面的建议:一是老秘并不了解学员工作的具体环境和具体情况,如果要这样一对一的修改,是需要花费一些时间慢慢对接的;二是就本文来说存在一些逻辑问题,可能是在撰稿之初就犯了一些逻辑性错误,观点(小标题)是根据内容提炼出来的,而本文的小标题对仗工整,乍一看给人的感觉是比较好,但一看内容就有点文不对题了。例如:第一部分,作为乡级政府谈何政策支持?乡镇有制定政策的权限吗?( |( L3 n: y4 Y' c. k) m- e1 ?mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">北纬30度:+ Z: h) ~( G' _mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">县级,包括地市级都没有制定政策的权限,都是贯彻落实上级的政策。此外,从文章的提纲看,二级标题不能囊括内容。0 F& q+ @6 r7 a$ l) o; T! Z
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">胡晓斌:+ C8 D( e V+ o' L- s qmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">县级市应该有制定本县美丽乡村建设实施意见和考核标准、政策支持等权力的吧。二级标题与子标题脱节。/ J) k, `% b# m4 ^! jmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">即便乡镇没有制定政策的权限,但也可以出台一些举措,比如以奖代补,纳入考核。这些可以归入政策层面。" z$ x- F/ M! g3 H4 @mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">飘雪:/ s& T& n2 {" Z; z2 Zmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">对,这个问题我同意。而且这也不是核心问题。核心问题可能还是逻辑架构上。我觉得晓斌对转型可能没有理解透。/ _. J5 B: f( g+ J- Dmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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/ G3 I: Y o( ^. ]2 x' c7 [楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">石子云:. \( i1 f9 }" j0 x+ {; Z
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">号同学胡晓斌( N9 h, o2 o: O' d @
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! }$ V' t$ ~( S8 Bmso-font-kerning:0pt">二、列提纲、明思路5 m/ s5 x5 g/ s, p3 S( S. r) I14.0pt;font-family:楷体_GB2312;mso-hansi-font-family:楷体_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">在刚才讨论的基础上,我想谈一谈关于列提纲的一点体会。我所理解的提纲就是动笔之前想好的内容,材料的骨架,也是我们通常所说的谋篇布局。; i, T# w- L: tmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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; C' n. ]3 @4 b& _! t1 ~3 z) \3 n楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方:如果反过来,写加强社区制度建设,对93向社区制度进行梳理,非常平,看不出什么特色与亮点来。
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- U2 T0 P6 e- d+ q2 b/ M% u0 |8 l3 a楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">铁树凝:需求为王,刨树刨根,循此,深挖,梳理片段,轮廓,佐以素材,碰撞,修正思路,揉融观点素材,思路为纲,纲举目张,终是符合有关要求,才算好。
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: Q/ C8 i& ]! l. @, q* o, p楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">飘雪:总之写作很难,难在何处,之一是思维。
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^: q l1 v7 p, h8 L1 `楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">铁树凝:难在先方有可贵后生!思路素材之间有一碰撞修正过程不是一成不变的,中间很多时候有变化。
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, z4 i$ M& c* z楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">老猫:好标题的灵感从哪里来?老猫的体会是从段落内容中提炼,从个别字词中联想,从上级文件中生发,从参考资料中化用,从交流碰撞中偶得。